Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in banjoismygod's LiveJournal:

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Monday, March 19th, 2007
12:20 am	i've just realized my own greatness and i want to say this without ego that i am a truly beautiful human being tonight i talked with some very important people in my life and though i don't always like some of them, i've found that i can live with that because it's the impact i've made on their lives and the impact they've made on me that is the one and only, all important x-factor the color and the shadow that adds definition to the shape of me (Comment on this)
Wednesday, March 14th, 2007
11:45 pm	stirrup pants are awesome. i've just realized that the uniforms in star trek ds9 are all full of stirrup pants. the stirrup pant is a many splendored thing. let me explain: 1. it provides the perfect mix of baggy and well-fitted. if you wear the stirrups over your shoes, the pant legs do not touch your actual legs, and create a wonderfully unnatural and straight line from hip to ankle. 2. the stirrup pant accentuates the ass... 3. stirrup pants are so deliciously ridiculous! Although the stirrup pant is currently not in the fashion vernacular, i am confident that by the 24th century they will indeed to come back in style. (Comment on this)
Saturday, March 10th, 2007
1:43 pm	i kissed my best friend's boyfriend last night, with tongue (felt the need to make that distinction--with tongue) but i think it's ok because she was right there, and we'd already kissed on a prior occaision anyway. (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Monday, March 5th, 2007
8:41 pm	i'm realizing that i wasn't meant to do the things i want to do social work and school are, i've decided, probably the two worst things in the world for me. the amount of time and energy, the organization, the regemented thinking that these things take are really taking their toll on me. i wish i knew how to be effective in the kind of practice i enjoy without it eating me alive. i wish i could do school witout it doing me. but i'm lucky to have come through all this education with a strong enough sense of self to know when to move on. now i just need to figure out what to do. maybe instead of case management i can do advocacy work. maybe i can take a break from social work and move into something else. like food service. or bartending. (which will get me more money than social work anyway) or maybe i'll just dedicate my life to some religion or something. i'm not sure which one i'll pick. they all seem to have some really good ways to work for humanity. a vow of poverty would be incredibly liberating. i really think this could be good. maybe i'll just become an artist. i don't need to have gone to school for that shit anyway. my friend told me that the only reason there are art schools is so that artists can learn how to defend their work. maybe i'll run for office. what do you think? (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Thursday, March 1st, 2007
11:49 pm	xena in the snow... last night dite and i started our xena marathon. yesssss!!! (and yes, i was properly razzed by my roommate for watching, let alone liking, such a show) i left her house at about 11:30 and was surprised to see the sky was, yet again, spewing flakes of that sticky white shit known in these god-forsaken parts as snow. it had just started to snow, as the sidewalks and streets were just barely dusted with the stuff. as i was carefully decendending the front steps, i thought to myself, "if it's snowing, that means the air is cold enough for snow to exist, and if snow exists as snow, the roads are probably freezing over at this very second, if not already frozen." (yes, this is what the inside of my head sounds like) truer words were never spoken, or thought... as i rounded a bend in the road near my house, i saw a car parked at a funny angle in a no parking zone. i thought that was strange. as i got nearer this car, i noticed that one of its wheels was not touching the ground, and that it was firmly planted in a snowbank. how it got there, i don't really know, and didn't care to ask. judging by the very new tracks in the snow dust, which was on top of glare ice, the car had simply drifted to one side without permission from it's owner, and with considerable wherewithal for an only slightly animate object. being the good-natured person that i am, and being that this car was "parked" so near my house, the only neighborly thing to do was help out. so i sauntered over somewhat cockily--after all, my car was safely parked in the ramp. i had heard the forcast was snow, and planned ahead--and asked the stranded driver if he wanted help. by that time, two more lovely bystanders decided to come and help. the three of us tried pushing this car while its owner threw it into reverse. nothing. dead stop. zero movement. what. so. ever. the car's owner, looking somewhat forelorn said, "thanks guys for your help, but i think i'll just try to dig myself out." as i started to walk away, i noticed that he had only an ice-scraper, and had some vague notion of going home to get a broom or something else that would be more shovel-like. as i was leaving, two more people came out of cafe montmartre (i love that place) ready to help. the four of us dug in again. we tried with all our might to budge this poor stuck car, but to no avail. the smell of burning rubber and the whine of the one tire screaching on the pavement was just another sign of our failure. as we started kicking more snow out from under the car, one of the fine young gentlemen from monmartre said, "if you put the floor mat under the tire, it might give it enough traction." What a brilliant suggestion! i dug some of the freshly disturbed snow out from under the one tire that provided any propulsion (front wheel drive car, only one front wheel touching the ground) and placed the mat below it. at first it didn't seem to make any difference at all. then slowly the car inched, nay millimetered, its way out of the snow. as i picked up the mat from the snow-covered pavement, i noticed that there was a perfect imprint of the right front tire's treds on it. i hope its owner doesn't mind too much. after all, he didn't have to call a tow truck. after all this excitement, i was ready to go home and go to bed. there were still people spilling out of montmartre, and the world was too rambunctious for my tastes. after all, i had worked a long shift this evening, and i had earned my sleepiness. just as i was about to head in to go to bed, someone turned the corner by montmartre onto webster (a one-way) going the wrong way! i tried to run after him and tell him of his error, but to no avail. he must have noticed something was wrong when he got to the next corner, however, and none of the street lights were facing his way (not to mention that he almost hit two cars). i'm glad no one died. what an exciting evening! i'm glad it's over, and i'm heading to bed. (and if this wasn't the most boring livejournal entry ever, than i haven't done my job) (Comment on this)
Wednesday, February 28th, 2007
9:13 am	i don't want to grow up last night i went to dinner with my friend kevin at red robbin. the food was ok, but i couldn't eat even half of my burger. i really had a lot of fun. it was nice to see kevin, since i hadn't in like months. we got a chance to chat (he's dating someone new, which i always very exciting), and we got to watch an episode of invader zim later, which i had never seen before. while at dinner, which was eaten in very close proximity to a good many other fine individuals, i saw that there was a kid making faces at me. he was pretty goofy looking. i think he was about five or six or so, and he was very gap-toothed and awkward looking. just the funniest thing i've ever seen really. so i started making faces back at him. the kid was sitting behind kevin, so at first he was really confused. i explained the situation, and then he just laughed pretty much the rest of the evening. ...i feel the need to explain the relationship i have with kevin. when we hang out we play a game that has two distinct names, one of which i use, and the other kevin uses. when i refer to this game, it's called, "i win, you lose," and when kevin does, he uses the name, "you win, i lose." the game consists of me making faces, talking, or cracking jokes until kevin smiles. if i make kevin smile, i win. it usually takes about 7 seconds for me to "win." and i usually "win" hundreds of times a night. it's a pretty fun game because even the loser is smiling. (not saying kevin is a loser by any means, the game is just decidedly in my favor, seeing as how i'm the funniest person on the planet)... this kid that i was playing with, besides looking really awkward and gap-toothed, looked like a little bit of a trouble-maker. he just had that look about him. his mom told him to stop no less than 8 times during dinner, but thankfully, he didn't. he did the fingers in the corner of the mouth face, with tongue wagging. he did the piggy nose (after i did it first). he made the tongue sticking out face. he even tried to cross his eyes, again taking cue from me, but he hadn't learned that one yet, so he just looked kinda lazy-eyed. at the end of the night his mother looked a little exasperated. she finally made him stand up next to her, at which point he began jumping around and making even stranger faces than before. it was probably the greatest thing i've ever seen. this kid was on the other side of a long bench from where i was. as he and his family rounded the corner, and headed toward the exit, he said "goodbyyeeee!" kevin and i almost died of laughter at that point. (i really hope the kid didn't get into trouble because of me) oh man, this night really brightened my week. (Comment on this)
Tuesday, February 20th, 2007
1:35 pm	my life is very small i live between classes and things. but classes and things are starting to consume me. (Comment on this)
Monday, February 19th, 2007
6:38 pm	today i talked with a very dear friend that i hadn't heard from in a while. it was very nice. it's amazing how seemingly bad events can bring about a wonderful change in your life, or cause a revolution in thought, or bring someone new into your life. this friend of mine became my friend because i got into a car accident. she came by and gave me a hug and said "it's just your car" and she was right. smart lady... (Comment on this)
Thursday, February 15th, 2007
11:32 am	my smile has changed lately it's lost a little of its luster but i think the quality of my hugs has improved because of it. (Comment on this)
Sunday, February 4th, 2007
5:36 pm	wow, i'm famous! so apparently i've reached a new high in my career as a writer. a friend of mine is gonna perform a piece i wrote for an audition. i don't know what kind of audition it is... i guess she needed something from an "'angry lesbian' american writer." considering i don't really identify as "angry" or "lesbian," (or "writer," and for that matter, the "american" part is questionable too) i think it's pretty funny that she chose something of mine. i'm actually kinda excited. it's gratifying for the ego and all that... *reference 1/13/2006 to see the piece she's using.* (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Monday, January 8th, 2007
10:09 am	i'm scared into silence by my lack of originality and my lack of emotionality lately i've been content to be numb i wish i could find my heart again i wish i could find my passion i wish there was something that moved me but i gotta move myself (Comment on this)
Thursday, January 4th, 2007
1:35 am	oh man, i sleep all the time. it's great! the last few days i've pretty much laid around my apartment naked. it's pretty great when my roommate isn't around. jk, i love kaitlin. (i just also love being naked...) i worked yesterday and today, but that's it. break is sooooo relaxing! (Comment on this)
Monday, December 18th, 2006
12:51 pm	i have been feeling self indulgent and destructive lately. i have now decided to be creative instead. i have decided to let the world in again. i also decided to apply to teach for america for next year. i am going to let their decision be my decision about staying in madison or not. (Comment on this)
Saturday, December 2nd, 2006
12:53 pm	it's amazing how helpful the I Ching oracle has been lately i don't know if you believe in such things, but i've found divination to be useful lately. i've asked the i ching oracle a number of questions i've been wondering about lately, and it's really helped me out. i've asked the same questions of it twice a week for the last couple of weeks, and the answers have remained somewhat constant. i think that means i'm doing ok. if you want to consult the oracle, you can do it at http://www.mdani.demon.co.uk/para/iching2.htm (Comment on this)
Monday, November 20th, 2006
12:34 am	i've rediscovered the nature of the universe it happens from time to time that we all lose sight of what life is. karma keeps us bound to this cyclic existence. impermanence is all there is, except for the music of the universe. it's in the way i move. how i breathe. who i am. i can't think without a beat behind me. i can't walk without my rythms. all we see are vibrations. all we hear. just particles bouncing off each other. i can't touch you because there is not a you to touch. there isn't a me to touch you. i am a living corpse, and i am free. we are all dying, which means we can live. (Comment on this)
Wednesday, November 15th, 2006
10:43 pm	i was gonna get a tattoo but then i didn't. i went and hung out with laura today. that was nice. and i also went to a meeting. that was long. alex was a perfect gentleman tonight. (Comment on this)
3:04 am	i went to a bar tonight it was the one right off atwood on ohio. it has a big "BLATZ!!" sign. it was great. i had a blast. and got hit on by this forty-somethingish lady. she was like in love with me. she has two kids and likes youngish queer women. it was pretty awesome... i had lots of fun with kaitlin and tom. we played pool. it was great. the end. (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Tuesday, November 14th, 2006
12:04 pm	shopping at goodwill is fun. i bought a lot of stuff. it's not really a new look or anything. i just didn't have any scarfs (or is it scarves?) and i bought some new pants and some sweaters and all that good stuff. oh, and my hair is really short again. just in time for winter!! (Comment on this)
12:25 am	thanksgiving this will be the first one without my gramma. she passed away before i got to come out to her. not that she would have been too receptive. or maybe i'm simply not giving her enough credit. she's a very fantastic lady. i really miss her. today i had a really spiritual experience, and i could almost feel her looking at me. i think that's what i need right now--to know that she's still there. a life such as hers can't be bounded by death. i've had a day today... parking ticket this morning, and then a shit of a day for the rest of it. tomorrow is new, and i have this to look forward to. i'm sleepy. i will see you in exactly 8 hrs. goodnight moon! (Comment on this)
Monday, November 13th, 2006
11:46 am	ha ha ha i went for a drive this morning and i saw a bird being eaten by a cat. it was kinda strange. but also kinda funny. kinda like watching a killer whale eat a seal on tv or a lion eating a gazelle or a crocodile eating a baby whatever or a shark eating a dolphin or something. like "oooh it's nature at it's cruelest!" Gaia isn't our mother, she's a manipulative slut. (Comment on this)